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Christiwire says Golden Girls makes you gay November 3, 2009

Posted by truthspew in Uncategorized.
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This unbelievable piece popped up on christwire.org

I’m having a hard time deciding whether Christwire is a parody site or a bunch of fundamentalist religious nut jobs.

Anyhow I posted this as a comment and post and emailed it to article author Stephenson Billings.

think your theory is wrong. Let me tell you my story.

I came of age before the Golden Girls ever hit the small screen. Maybe it was Randolph Mantooth in Emergency, or Gregory Harrison in Trapper John, M.D. that made me gay, or the many men of S.W.A.T, Hill Street Blues, etc.

As to your theory about sports, that might be the one thing you’re partially right about. But I always found traditional sports like baseball, football, and basketball boring as hell. I’d rather watch paint dry. Now a hockey game, I can get into it purely for the blood sport. And as a kid I wasn’t delicate at all and I have the scars to prove it. And as a kid I was more the biking, jogging, swimming type.

I really don’t have an effeminate bone in my body. In fact I also own guns, have shot trap, and done target practice. But I do it because when you Christofascisti start gunning for me, I can return fire.

But I’m as gay as they come. So please, come up with a new theory because I’ve just shot your theory full of holes.

Here’s the email response I got back. His reading comprehension is clearly lacking since I identify as gay in the post/email.

Dear Tony,

I see from your phone number that you are from Rhode Island. Let me tell you, that is one of the most dangerous places in the country and I will pray for your sanity and purity tonight. I actually planned to write an analysis of that state but only did this small one (http://christwire.org/2009/08/foreign-sex-radicals ).

As for my Golden Girls article, it may not explain your strange and offensive addiction to sodomy. But your case is truly an exception. I just tremble all over when I think of all that awful sodomy happening in public reststops and bed & breakfasts around this great country of ours… And how could you list Trapper John and not M.A.S.H? And really, shows like Charlie’s Angels, Designing Women, Wonder Woman, Batman & Robin, Perry Mason… well there are many other ones that had the potential to influence your delicate fragile mind back then more than Emergency.

Well, at least you have recognized that you have a problem with all those homosexuals in your life. They are a vicious bunch! Good luck with dealing with them!

With love and happiness,

Stephenson Billings, Investigative Journalist

Billings isn’t exactly an investigator. And he seems a might confused which leads me to believe the site is a parody.

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Comments»

1. Corey - November 3, 2009

I’m about 80% sure that piece was a joke. A funny one, at that.

2. Larry Ohio - November 3, 2009

Yes, it’s a parody site. I think I remember seeing this site featured on Joe.My.God a month or two ago. This guy is a brilliant satirist.


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